Perpetual Novice
Desire, I Want to Turn Into You sees Caroline Polachek ascend into the stratosphere of pop music’s elite. Desire is an irresistible force; as exciting as it is excruciating, it has the ability to sustain us and stop us in our tracks simultaneously. Polachek dances with both sides of desire, hope and destruction with stunning dexterity, creating an album of captivating, transformative power.
Polachek has beguiled us in the past under a multitude of musical identities, constantly reinventing herself without ever truly exposing herself. Polachek has composed and produced instrumental scores for designers that have featured on runways, co-written and co-produced a track with Beyonce, collaborated with pop queens Charli XCX and Christine and the Queens, and even provided a song for the Minions: The Rise of Gru soundtrack. Under the moniker Ramona Lisa, she treated us to pastoral electronic music on her 2013 album Arcadia. 2017 gave us the minimalist ambient Drawing the Target Around the Arrow, under her initials CEP. The constant innovation revealed her rich talent, but everything felt like a detour, like she hadn’t fully revealed herself.
2019 saw her release her debut album under her full name, the semi-symphonic experimental pop of Pang. Pang fully revealed Polachek’s greatest weapon, her stunning near-operatic voice. It was an album that felt like an amalgamation of her previous musical guises, playful and futuristic. Pang demonstrated Polachek’s ability to surrender to emotions completely, but often with a wry sense of humour, epitomised by her smash hit ‘So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings’. Pang was largely driven by heartbreak, but Polachek doesn’t just write about emotions; she physically embodies them. It was an album fuelled by adrenaline, the “pangs” that would wake her up in the night, and Desire, I Want to Turn Into You, similarly births itself from a period of pandemic-induced instability.
Polachek has described Desire as “a very maximalist album”, a statement of intent she delivers on. The word maximalist can often suggest a lack of subtlety, but Desire is a nuanced affair, with some staggering left-field turns that have you in awe of her cheek and talent. A key theme to the album is the idea of spiralling, a notion Polachek fully embraces, immersing herself in emotions and letting them transport her. Desire is an abstract concept, and Polachek’s lyrics are often equally ambiguous, more conceptual than diaristic, and occasionally illusionary. Desire’s diverse nature is matched in the music, which feels like a whistle-stop tour of pop music’s influences, past and present, drifting from new wave to trance, from flamenco to drum’n’bass. Polachek’s voice is equally elastic, bouncing from bratty to balletic, submitting to each track’s emotional desires.
The album opens with ‘Welcome to My Island’, a track Polachek wrote back in 2018 but felt didn’t belong on Pang. It’s right at home here, though, Polachek providing us with a sunshine getaway with a twist, going from “ocean blue” to “the water’s turning red”. The track demonstrates Polachek’s vocal dexterity, from the visceral howling opening to the brattish snap of the first verse. There’s a personal element hidden amongst the howls and yelps as Polachek delves into her relationship with her father, who sadly passed away in 2020. Polachek admits it was a complicated relationship, but she recognises, “I am my father’s daughter in the end”, despite their differences. ‘Pretty In Possible’ sees her ditch the absolutes, drifting into some humorous poetry (“Oracle and Oddysey with the bloody nose”) over skittish beats and unsettling synth keys. ‘Bunny Is a Rider’ is a wonderfully wonky independence anthem, “Bunny” representing an elusive figure of unavailability. Musically it’s wonderfully quirky, with marimba-style plinks and whistles, all underpinned by a gloriously funky bassline.
‘Sunset’ brings some flamenco vibes; produced by Seda Bodega (frequent Shygirl collaborator), it’s a fiesta-style love song. The track encapsulates the album’s theme of spiralling, Polachek singing, “Cause every spiral brings me back into your arms again”. Sunset provides a rare moment of solidity on the album, Polachek finding a safety net. ‘Crude Drawing Of An Angel’ is a dense, atmospheric number, beats plop and reverb, while the ominous bass and panting breaths in the background enhance the eerieness. Polachek’s voice slices through the smoke beautifully, stretching the line “All or nothing” to breaking point, encompassing the instability of desire. ‘I Believe’ somehow seamlessly blends almost garage-like beats and operatic harmonies, a testament to the album’s excellent production.
‘Fly To You’ sees Polachek joined by Grimes and Dido, all three synchronising perfectly. It’s a gripping blend of liquid drum’n’bass and ethereal dream pop, with a Spanish-style guitar interlude thrown in for good measure. ‘Blood and Butter’ is all about spiralling upwards (“Let me dive/Through your face/To the sweetest kind of pain”), ascending with your emotions. The song has an electronic underbelly that swerves into this fantastic, unexpected bagpipes solo as Polachek embraces her musical ancestry. ‘Hopedrunk Everasking’ sees her conceptualising, pulling apart the fabrics of life, where “Real life is a rumour” and “Dawn is just a headspace”. The track has this spacious ambience that makes you feel like you’re floating into this warm abyss.
‘Butterfly Net’ is deeply metaphoric, as Polachek sings, “With my butterfly net/trying to catch your light”. It’s about the fruitlessness of trying to hold on to something tangible, understanding that as much as we desire to hold onto past feelings or relationships, it’s impossible. ‘Smoke’ is a woozy, anthemic surrender of desires, smoke representing passion which Polachek unapologetically submits to, “You are melting everything about me”. Polachek recognises it can be brief and temporary, “And the fallout doesn’t phase me/And you are the big answer tonight”, a key embodiment of desire. ‘Billions’ provides a suitably thrilling conclusion, Polachek’s voice weaving and warping as these tabla-like percussive beats fill the background. The song deals with contrasts, “Psycho, priceless/Good in a crisis”, “Lies like a sailor/But makes love with a painter”, Polachek’s humour coming to the fore.
Desire is the sound of an artist at the peak of their talents and is undoubtedly Polachek’s best album yet. Polachek turns instability into something transformative, making magic out of mania. The sounds are kaleidoscopic, encompassing pop’s rich history while stretching its boundaries, providing us with something wholly unique. The production is flawless throughout, blending a myriad of sounds without ever sacrificing melody, while Polachek’s voice is like an orchestra itself, weaving in and out of the album’s many layers. Desire may be a difficult concept to pin down, but there’s nothing elusive about her talent.